I Have No Idea What This Says, But It Became Funny 

Could anyone tell me what this says?










企鹅号Q 343086184


Oh, I am sure someone can, but I don’t know that it is necessary.

This was not in my spam folder on WordPress. It was one of many emails I received that I chose to read on my way to the ocean. The others were in English, and though I don’t know if I could find them, I do know the general gist. Either a woman has money she wants to bestow upon me in order that I can help the poor, or someone wants to come live in my house and they will pay me as long as I give them shelter in the good old USA.

Because of the wonderful Google I can translate this on my own. Let’s see what wonderful offer I am getting. Maybe someone wants to send me a boat full of gold and gems. I would keep it on the river and it wouldn’t mess up my already hoarder filled house.

First thing I learned was it is Chinese. I wasn’t sure because it could have been Japanese. It’s all Asian to me. *I knew it wasn’t Greek so I didn’t use the old adage, it’s all Greek to me.

I know it starts with Please fill out form. What form? Probably some attachment that will send me a virus or somehow gather all my pertinent information that is best kept in my lingerie drawer. Don’t even think about peaking into my lingerie drawer, my dear reader – (you know who you are), it isn’t that exciting.

Yep, the next part is actually a link to a form. I know because the translation says google docs/ but I am not going to open it. Of course I am not, I have already deleted it after copying it – no virus copied, not even zika.


The content area is translated as:

You can try your old customers are searching on the Internet , you can search to find. Faced with millions of customers on google , you knowing where to start , manual search volume, mixed too much data , manual screening workload and low efficiency .

Our system can automatically filter your unwanted information and automatically extract mailbox to automatically send one development of the letter .

Increase your 200% efficiency, it can be said to be a complete smart customers to develop robots.


I wonder if this new tool would help keep me from getting messages from the person/computer/alien that sent this message to me. Highly doubtful.

Also, I wonder why I want my customers to develop robots. I thought I just wanted people to read my book. What was I thinking? I must figure out what kind of robots my customers most prefer to develop. Probably reading robots, but one can never be too sure with these things.

It actually ends with:

Now you are invited to experience your product does not have the same way of customer development

Penguin No. Q 343086184

Huh? I think something was lost in translation. Maybe if I develop a reading robot, I also need a thinking robot. That will be quite a task. Oh, wait, my customers are developing these robots, I don’t need to stress about it.

Now, back to the day I first read this. I think it would be more accurate to say first saw this as I could not read it in the car…..

I know the easiest thing to do would be to delete these messages, but because I was in the confines of our car with just my human, I decided to read them to him. I thought they were all hysterical, with the obvious exception of the one pictured because I had no idea what it says. Well, yes, it is quite comical as I was sure it requested a response of some kind.

What was simply me laughing at the requests made of me as a random person, became a tear jerking hysteria of laughter. You see, my human is quite comical and he came up with all kinds of responses that I can’t really remember, and probably shouldn’t share in the interest of staying G rated.

When I told him about this email, he couldn’t look at it as his eyes were on the road and he is a careful driver, he told me what he thought it might say. No, I don’t remember, but trust me it was funny.

Now that I have translated it, I am quite disappointed. Oh well, maybe my next foreign language spam will be more interesting. I’ll let you know.



I love gardening and magical beings. My profile is a garden ready to be created,

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8 comments on “I Have No Idea What This Says, But It Became Funny 
  1. joey says:

    At a minimum, stuff like this makes me smirk. Now and again I’ll get some offer to write for the “best more fabulous writings places then you ever new!!!” I love the non-native-English-speaking bits about how they’ll “perform PR to your blog writings and administer them across millions of readings!”
    Seriously, love that stuff.
    Do you follow English Whirled Wide anywhere? Great stuff! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. John Holton says:

    If you run it through Google Translate, it comes out kind of like you have the translation here. The translator programs do a good job of translating the words, but not with making the idioms come out right… in any event, it was probably a good thing you didn’t open the form…

    Liked by 1 person

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