This is part of the atozchallenge.
Hate is a very strong word. It is also a very overused word.
Children say, “I hate you,” to their parents when they are given restrictions. We know they don’t really hate their parents. It’s the easiest way for them to express their frustration.
What are they really saying? I don’t understand the rules. I want to be in charge of my own life.
Children say, “I hate (insert name of teacher, coach, classmate)” because they are overwhelmed with an assignment, peer pressure, or because they lack the ability to handle a particular situation.
What are they really saying? I don’t understand the assignment, the relationship, I lake the basic skills.
Children say “I hate” a particular subject, sport, or activity because they lack the basic skills and are afraid of failing.
What are they really saying? I want to be the best at this activity and I am afraid I am failing. I don’t feel good enough.
Children say they hate another person because that person is different, mean, behaves in an inappropriate manner.
What are they really saying? I don’t understand why this person does what they do, and I don’t know how to handle it.
Saying, “I hate -” gives us an immediate release of our frustrations, yet it actually hurts us. It allows a darkness into our soul that can be as devastating as cancer if we allow it to grow and harden us.
What should we do? Think about why we feel the way we do towards someone or something. Is there something we can do to make it better?
Try to understand why we are feeling the hatred.
Work on accepting the rules, and follow them.
Study basic skills, practice, ask for help.
Try to look at the situation from the point of view of the other person.
Learn to walk away and let go of challenges that are overwhelming.
Let go of hatred and allow for hope and healing.
What do you hate? How can you heal?