Formal Eviction Letter

 

Dear Winter,

Consider this your formal notification of eviction.

It is being delivered by the friendly welcoming gnome who has the single duty of watching over and welcoming all friends who enter These Fair Woods.

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Don’t let his welcome sign fool you. He is not welcoming you, Winter!

Please note that only one of his eyes is visible. That is because YOU, Winter, covered him with that horrible stuff called snow. YOU, Winter, caused the normally friendly gnome to spend over an entire week staring at bright white and nothing else.

He is now able to keep an eye out for more friendly visitors and today (OH WONDERFUL DAY) he was able to spot that wonderful groundhog who comes out every February 2nd.

Luckily, the welcome gnome has declared that the groundhog did NOT see his shadow. This means you officially have only 6 weeks to get off my property and out of town. (Hopefully so far away you become lost and never return)!

I will not miss you.

Neither will my flamingos. You see, these two have only just begun to feel their feet.

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The rest of my flamboyance have been so completely overcome with distress and cold that they have had to huddle together.

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They still don’t have the strength to find their feet.

And, while some may appear to have their feet in the air, their heads are drastically buried  in that horrible white stuff.

 

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I can hear their piteous cries…. though muffled by the snow…. “Help, I’ve fallen, and frozen in place!”

So, Winter, consider this your final warning. You have six weeks to evacuate your belongings. If you do not leave the premises within the allotted time period I will have no choice but to resort to the firing squad. (Yes – wood and flame).

Thank you for your understanding.

Sincerely,

Maneé Trautz – protector of These Fair Woods

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I am a dreamer who loves to explore the world through words. I hope to inspire others to live in peace and be their best selves. I also have an affinity for flamingos, gnomes, and all things magical. They live happily in my gardens.

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5 comments on “Formal Eviction Letter
  1. joey says:

    Oh those poor flamingos. And more’s the pity that it’s only February.
    You should live someplace warm and habitable for your flamingos, hm?
    Here, we’ve barely had winter. (And I’m not pleased.)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Damien Riley says:

    Love the title and what you did with the rest of the post.

    Liked by 1 person

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