I have been working on my Angel/Fairy garden a lot lately. Yesterday I trimmed the Angel tree and dug out saplings. I pulled up all the ivy. Dang you, Grandpa, for thinking English Ivy was so wonderful. I never met him, but my mother told me he considered ivy a great lawn covering. “All you have to do is mow it once or twice a year,” he told her.
Yeah, mow it even though it grows up every single tree and hides all the poison ivy? No thank you. I prefer my yard to have pretty things I can see, not pretty things covered in ivy. Okay, I know mowing it would keep it from spreading, but my lawn mower doesn’t do well when hitting all the large rocks and stuff that the ivy covers.
I brought the pavers, salvaged from a friend’s yard when we changed her rock garden into grass, over to the garden. I thought I would use them to set the fairy homes above the ground.
I had used large rocks found in my yard, but I thought the pavers would make a nice touch.
I took some of the pavers into the house to paint for a house warming gift to a friend. I hope she doesn’t read this until after her party! While painting them I thought about how I could paint those left in my garden.
I decided that I would paint them each and write the name of those I choose to honor in my Angel Garden. I counted the pavers, there were exactly enough for each of those souls I wanted to honor with one left over. On that one I plan on writing,
Gone to the touch,
not to the soul.
This planning has made me think about how differently each of us reacts to the loss of a parent, spouse, sibling, child. Even when two siblings lose a parent, their reactions sometimes seem very different.
Thoughts that went through my mind thinking of how people judge others in their loss.
1. He mourns his dog more than his brother.
2. She seems to think she is the only one who lost a child, parent, sibling, friend.
3. She didn’t lose a child, she had a miscarriage.
4. Death is just a part of life. Get over it and start living.
5. Just give it time, it will get easier.
6. You now have an angel with you.
None of this judging helps. While I am sure time heals all wounds, it does not help to be told that. It seems to belittle the pain. There are days when it seems there could not possibly be a bandage large enough to cover the wound in one’s soul.
So I will paint those pavers and I will honor those lost.
I am very pleased with the way the Angel Garden is changing. I even had a visitor to the bird feeder yesterday. Who knows, it might have been one of those souls stopping in to say hello.
They are all welcome. They are always welcome.
Today’s Challenge: Don’t judge others or yourself for how you handle death and loss.