Stay Away From Me, One of Us Has Cooties

Well, I have been warned. I now understand that the world is unsafe. Really, it is terribly unsafe.

The school system has banned any trips to metropolitan areas. None of the students will be safe if they visit any cities, this includes, but is not limited to, NYC, Philadelphia, Wilmington, Baltimore and Washington D.C.. Did you think it would be enjoyable to see a Broadway show, the Liberty Bell, the Dupont Theater, the Baltimore Aquarium, Zoo or Maryland Science Center? No, it would not be fun. Don’t even think about seeing the Smithsonian. It would be a horrible experience and you would not enjoy it.

Why? There are cooties out there. Yes, it’s true. There are the most horrendous cooties. Fortunately they have only been seen in metropolitan areas. You will be completely safe as long as you stay in the suburbs or rural areas.

Please understand the school system’s policy. If they allowed a trip to a terribly cootie infested area and a student actually became infected, the school system would be liable for damages. They don’t have enough paper masks to protect themselves.

Truly, it could be even worse. Imagine if a student is infected and doesn’t even know it. If that student returned home, the whole county could be infested in a matter of hours! Truly terrifying.

Hey, you know what? If there are cooties in the metropolitan areas in the United States, imagine how many cooties are in other countries! We certainly can’t go there either. Stay safe at home. If you really want to see other countries, there are some great blogs showing pictures of other places. Some are so phenomenal that you really feel as if you are traveling, and many even have written words to explain what you are seeing and the cultural experience the photographer has had. You don’t need to worry about going to visit in person.

Don’t turn on the television. I just did and I saw a report that we are not safe even though we have avoided other countries and major cities. Now, we have to avoid bridges and tunnels. It’s not even safe to go near any of these.

Why? Well it seems that bridges are the perfect breeding ground for cooties. They have been setting up nests all over every single bridge in the United States.

It started with the most famous one, at least here on the East Coast, the Brooklyn Bridge. A large group of children who were getting ready to jump off the bridge, all as one, saw a nest.

I know you remember your parents saying, if all your friends jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you?

Well apparently this particular group of kids was trying to see how many would jump off the bridge when they noticed the large nest just crawling with cooties. They were afraid. They ran off the bridge to warn people. Fortunately none of them jumped. Phew!

Soon every bridge in the United States was crawling with cooties and everyone should be avoiding them. This makes me incredibly sad as there are a lot of bridges in my county and I can’t even get to my favorite home away from home, the library, because in order to get to any of them I would either have to go over or under a bridge. Trust me, I am not doing that! I don’t need a library, I have the Internet.

Oh No! I just heard a news report that said the cooties are migrating. Every single road is swarming with cooties. We can’t get to gas stations, grocery stores or the movies. Wouldn’t matter anyway, the trucks wouldn’t get through to make deliveries. We will all just stay in our homes. No problem. Put up your cootie proof curtains, you’ll be fine.

Oh, could it get any worse? The meteorologist just said a storm is coming. What will happen when a tree falls on a power line, or lightning strikes a transformer? Who is going to make the necessary repairs?

I am scared. Are you scared?

Hey, get away from me, you look like a cootie!


Now, this is just a parody, none of this happened except the school system did ban trips to cities. Fortunately it was after I got to see a Broadway show.

I understand the school system being concerned about the safety of students in cities following the riots in Baltimore. I really do understand it. I just hope it is not a permanent thing. Many of the students will only be able to have these experiences within the confines of a school sponsored trip. I think new experiences are what is necessary to guide students to be more understanding and intelligent. They will accept people’s differences easier if they have encountered more of the world.

I am concerned that what we are teaching fear. Something happens somewhere and everyone wants to hide in the comfort and safety of what they know, their own homes and communities. This is understandable, but it limits us.

We need to keep living our lives, exploring new places, and trying new things. We need to reach out to each other and learn from each other and have respect, not fear.

Today’s challenge: Live your life. Go somewhere new and exciting.

I myself am going to Baltimore – maybe I’ll see you there.


I love gardening and magical beings. My profile is a garden ready to be created,

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Posted in May's Challenge
2 comments on “Stay Away From Me, One of Us Has Cooties
  1. I love cooties! I feel so exhilarated when discovering new cooties!
    I stay home avoiding certain cooties, but others are too good to miss.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A sad over reaction. I hope it passes. I myself am off exploring new things!

    Liked by 1 person

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