Don’t Have a Cow!

In the words of that annoying Bart Simpson,  don’t have a cow, man!

Really, don’t have a cow. Don’t get so worked up on anything that you forget to appreciate the joy of simply being alive and well and alive. Okay, I know I said alive twice, but sometimes we just need to say, yep, I’m alive and that is as good as it gets.

Last night I watched a pitcher, the only reason I was watching the baseball game in the first place, take the mound in the first and second inning. He pitched perfectly and struck out the first six batters, three in each inning. Then he managed to get 4 total R.B.I.s which was impressive. I saw it all while having wonderful conversations with my friends under a warm blanket.

Why does it always have to get cold when the lights come on the field?

At the end of the game, I was looking forward to getting home and relaxing. The blister on the top of my foot had transformed into two blisters, side by side, – UGH.

The phone started ringing while I was on a back road. I stopped the car and answered, why? well it was from someone who doesn’t usually call me, especially so late. I answered and the words that I heard are those words that are supposed to make you feel good but never do. Four words, four simple little words that usually mean all is well, but don’t when on the phone late at night. You know the words, “Don’t worry, I’m okay.”

First of all, “Don’t Worry”  automatically triggers the worry response. You know it does, don’t pretend you are infallible to that immediate response.

“I’m okay!” This statement is inevitably followed by a BUT. The BUT loomed heavily in the air because the voice that claims the body is okay is shaking. That is never a good sign.

Now, I swear I heard the next words as, “I had a cow.”

You had a cow? Haven’t you ever heard of Bart Simpson? Don’t you know that you are not, under any circumstance, supposed to have a cow?

Speaking of cows…. There is a local rancher (that’s what you call people who raise cows right?) who sells them. I purchased a half of one once and I did not enjoy the meat. It was dry. It was tough. It was not a pleasant experience, especially as it was expensive.

Since then I have purchased a half a steer from a friend. This friend loves the cows so much that even with an injured ankle, she broke the ice off their drinking water in the freezing (obviously) cold weather and chased a steer who needed to run because of some digestive issue. She loved those big beasts and treated them well, and they were happy.

Happy cows really do taste better. I know some would say I am sick to eat the beef because a happy cow would be happier if it didn’t become meat in my freezer, but let’s not think about that. It is the best beef I have ever had and I thank that animal for it’s sacrifice every time I eat. No guilt here.

I bet my friend’s steers never go a day without knowing they are loved. I bet they are happy and playful and they have the best life possible. They would never “have a cow.”

I can’t say that for the other rancher. The one who has dry, tough beef. I don’t think those cows feel very loved. I bet they feel like “having a cow” every day. Poor cows.

I wonder if you can guess where I’m going with this. You see, “I had a cow” was not what was said. It was, “I hit a cow.” Big difference!

Now, I assure you that I did not have a cow. I simply said, “Okay, I’ll be right there.” Why? well I was in the car already, and even without asking, I knew exactly where the car that hit a cow was. How did I know this? Those poor cows are so unloved that they are always out in the road.

Why? Are they trying to run away? Are they looking for love in all the wrong places?

I don’t know where the cow is, but I do know that hitting a cow does a lot of damage to a small car. I bet a car does a lot of damage to a cow.

Poor, sad, unloved cow.

Poor car.

Oh well, the most important thing was really the first four words, “Don’t worry, I’m okay.”

Yes, in the whole scheme of things, the fact that we are alive and unharmed (well, aside from the blisters) is all that matters.

So, today’s challenge is to avoid both hitting or having a cow. Seriously.

Well, today’s challenge is to remember that even when the occasional really odd things happen, it’s just a minor setback. As long as the people are okay, nothing else matters.

I guess you could argue that the cows being alright would be a good thing as well. I can’t control the rancher’s control of the cows. Sometimes you just have to let go of worrying.

Gee, I wonder if I should ask: Where’s the beef?


I love gardening and magical beings. My profile is a garden ready to be created,

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Posted in May's Challenge
4 comments on “Don’t Have a Cow!
  1. Fairy Queen says:

    Oh gosh poor moo moo! Still couldn’t help the giggles though 😊 🌼💜🌼

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lesson learned, people who put up signs on their property about following the way of the Lord, and won’t really talk to you because they are rushing off to find the cows, will by the light of the day, tell the insurance company that they have no recollection of their cows being loose and their cows are all in barn. Always call the police.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hehe for all the puns, but poor cow and poor car is right!

    Liked by 1 person

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